Although I was the person who always over expressed and reflected upon every bit of emotion, although my heart ache was always a well of inspiration, except that it is different now, it is different today. Although lately the theme of my life seems to be about loss and uncertainty except that it is different now and different today. So different that it is almost demeaning to try and express it. All the attempts of others to explain it or narrate it seem so superficial, so slight, approaching humiliation.
And that’s it; to all the people who asked me to grow up and told me that happiness does not exist and with whom I have so naively and so childishly argued, I shall tell you now that you win. I shall declare happiness a NO MAN’s LAND; a myth.
In a world where logic is defied, justice denied and the truth ridiculed; I shall renounce happiness. I apologize for involving you in such hectic discussions when you have known it all along. In a world where good men are murdered and their death advocated by the scum of our world; only a lunatic should believe in happiness. And I am no lunatic. I am sane! I make sense, although my life does not and so, I renounce happiness.
I apologize for all those I tried to inspire, I am earnestly regretful of all the false hope I seemed to induce. There is no hope, give up! No hard work shall pay off. No passion will lead you and no matter how hard you believe in your dreams or in the path untaken in the jungle; you shall end up meeting with the inevitable obstacle; that monster with the ugly face, bad breath, red eyes and huge belly you read about in children’s books; the dream thief. But unlike children’s books, you will not find a way out and win in the end. You see, what they do not tell you in children’s books is that the monster in the jungle is connected…yes it is…one day the king saw how happy his people were. He saw how they had dreams and were walking about trying to achieve them and somehow that made him feel that his kingdom was threatened. The king was a very enlightened man; he knew dreams empowered people and understood that this power threatens his. But how could he deny them; his own people their dreams? And when one day the king was watching his people from his secret telescope, he saw them heading through different paths to the jungle; some took short ones, some took long, some treaded grass paths and some rocky ones, but their paths overlapped and they seemed to reach the same destination, except that the king was not able to see that spot through his telescope in the castle. Then, he, so proudly called on his counselor and asked him about the place where people where headed. And the counselor always had his king’s best interest and he told him the truth; “Your majesty; your people are dreamers and they go to the jungle to that magic well where prayers are answered and dreams come true!”
“This well should be barricaded.” Immediately thought the king. “Dreamers are dangerous and happy people are a threat to the kingdom and the king and are therefore threat to the people.” But what will he do, how will he justify it?
“Counselor!” called the king.
“Is the forest safe?”
“It is your majesty!”
“Are there any wild animals?”
“No your majesty!”
“No wild plants?”
“No your majesty!”
“Is it dark at night?”
“Of course it is your majesty.”
“I will not allow this. The safety of my people is the most important thing. Their lives are the most valuable asset to the kingdom. Burn the forest down”
“But, your majesty, there will be a riot, you know, because of the well of dreams.”
“Riot?!” The king seemed to be angered by the word, but truly considered it.
“But your majesty, there are other solutions to be considered, for the lives of our people is the most important of all.” Smiled the counselor with a wicked wink.
The next morning; women were heard screaming in the market; a young man was treading a path in the forest and was killed by an ugly looking monster. People were shocked. It was a first; they thought. Their town and its forest were always safe. But amidst their shock and gossips; another two men came running down the market, out of breath and screaming about the monster in the forest blocking the well of dreams.
By the next morning; fifty young men were injured or murdered by the monster in the forest and the king came out of his terrace dressed in a silky, black gown and yellow smile and to his pale, shocked, petrified people he spoke;
“Today I am the saddest I could ever be. Our peaceful land is threatened by strange monsters in the forest. The forest shall be burned down.”
People gasped and protested “But your majesty; the well of dreams. It has brought so much happiness to our lives.”
“Shush” cried the king. “Your dreams will kill you like it killed your sons! Dreams are dangerous, happiness will be the end of you.I shall not allow it. The well will be closed.”
And that night the king and his counselor stood watching the town people holding torches walking though the short grassy path to the well of dreams where they threw sand and stones in it till it was blocked and then burned down the whole forest.
On their way back to town; one young man told his father; “I find it strange though that we saw no monster.”
“Oh but it’s there my son, it must be there.” said the old man. “We should never question his majesty’s love for us. Our dreams will kill us. Our happiness shall be the end of us. We can live without them like we once did.”
But his son did not believe him. He kept on talking to the town’s people about how there was no monster but they reminded him of the murdered young men. He argued that the monster could be defeated but they were scared. He reminded them of dreams and happiness but he only angered them. They were free of their dreams now. They did not need to take the path to the well in the morning; in some sense, they were liberated. And they did not want this freedom taken away from them. But he kept on arguing and fighting until he was old and grey and children who were born after the forest was burnt did not know the meaning of the words dreams and happiness. And their mothers told them the myth about the happy forest and the well of dreams and how that this old mane was insane thinking that this myth was the truth.
But I am not insane…I do not believe in dreams….I do not believe in happiness. I live among scum….and scum it shall all be!