I am always looking for new ways to be inspired and I always end up reading quotes or getting advice from people. But the problem with advice these days is that it carries more judgment than care; you can relate, can’t you? I constantly read quotes like “Some people dream while others wake up and work on theirs.” And some other quotes stating that it is inevitable to let go of people who do not add anything to our lives or to give up on people who give up on us or to stay away from people who do not inspire us. But what about our role in those people’s lives? What do we add to them, what kind of value are we providing? When has life become so measurable and since when have relationships been so judged and scrutinized? I guess it has been like this forever; it’s just that we still had some shame preventing us from publicly stating these things.
It has been this way since mothers started advising their kids to stay away from friends who do not study hard because they are losers instead of telling them to love them. It has been this way since fathers punished their boys for socializing with friends they deemed delinquent because they smoked or had an unusual hair cuts or had a strange taste in clothes. I am not saying parents should not be careful but why have they forgotten that their kids’ friend are kids as well. Why have they chosen to warn instead of befriend and offer a helping hand? Why have people start building walls separating them from others. When and why have we cultivated that sense of individuality instead of nurturing our sense of solidarity? And do not get me wrong; I am by no means referring to politics here. I am merely talking about society here; about friends and neighbors.
All this judgment has only created a culture of loneliness. We all fear for ourselves, we are so reluctant to help others and always ask “what’s in it for me?” I am one of the people who lived for years seeing men rushing to help others push a car with a dead battery that belonged to another MAN. Now I see men and women struggling alone with their broken cars or their own disabilities with no one offering help.
But what really kills me is the spread of that superficial, extensively materialistic western culture of knowing your “unique value” or your “competitive edge” as a person and “marketing” yourself. Seeing people standing in a gathering stating what they are good at or what makes them better than others or what they have to provide that others won’t; isn’t that a form of pimping oneself? Since when have these become our values? What happened to modesty and humbleness? What happened to speaking highly of others and none of oneself? I still distinctly remember the first time I witnessed a similar incident and that was 13 years ago where we had a gathering at school to think of ways we needed to solve a problem and a friend of mine stood up in a middle of everyone and started counted the things that she could do and provide and how talented she was. All I could think of back then was one: “you idiot; I know at least two who could do this and that better than you” and two: “aren’t you ashamed of what you are doing?” And let me just tell you I am far from being timid or shy and I do not believe in people who do not stand up for themselves or others and I don’t even think that under all circumstances you should wait for permission to show your true colours. But, to stand up and state something when you are not sure of your true potential is just playing a fool. And please do not tell me that’s a onetime incident because it’s not. It happens on a daily basis that morons speak before experience, that idiocy replaces wisdom and that vanity is always sure of itself. Our whole society is turning into an extensive version of “The Emperor’s new clothes” tale. Everyone is afraid to say the emperor is naked because they will be thought stupid. Everyone is afraid to say that the moron speaking in public is a big fraud for fear of being stigmatized. But the lie has gone so far because people no more recognize morons, they celebrate them. Society celebrates idiocy and yet so shamelessly warns against mediocrity and we are all so simple minded to think that we are the mediocre ones and that the vanity celebrated is genius. Well, just let me tell you one thing; Jay Sorensen; the inventor of the coffee cup cardboard sleeve is a millionaire and is considered an entrepreneur, three cheers for genius please.
It only hurts me when I see my friends falling in this trap, spending days and nights worrying about their so called “unique value” wondering if they have anything special to provide. And the problem with that is that we start categorizing ourselves and we never realize how hard on ourselves we become and we never know that our minds are not well-equipped to understand their own complexity. We are simple in the most intricate of ways and genius in the most simple of ways. We often forget that we are dynamic beings; abilities and capabilities can be acquired, thoughts change, knowledge is gained and stamina can be expanded.
I remember a dear friend telling me that he once went through this phase where he kept on dwelling on that special thing that makes him more unique than others and what special thing he provided that others did not, but luckily, my friend had a wise friend –not me of course- and his friend was good enough to remind him that he is all that. He is everything that he provided; he is the support he provides for others, the hard working man, the father, the friend, the person who serves with all his heart and cares for all, especially the least fortunate. And my friend is not the only one, you are all genius. You are all unique and creative in your own individual ways. So, just forget IQ tests, forget your peers’ witty remarks, forget “sleeping with a dream and waking up with a purpose”, forget strategies and continuous planning, forget lists of things you want to do before……, forget “becoming goal-oriented” but start remembering hearts, those lovely organs that could stop for no reason in the most unexpected of times. Remember people you forget to notice during your continuous struggle and remember that they are struggling too because we are too often under the illusion that we are the only people suffering. Work hard, yes, but don’t do it alone. Dream big, yes, but don’t only dream for yourself. Share your blessings and your talents so they get more room to grow and blossom. And trust me as much as I hate being advised, I hate preaching too. But I can’t help but tell you that whatever you are planning or not, whatever you worry will happen or not, whoever you want to become or not, will happen or not according to God’s will. And remember; we are not a materialistic nation. We worship God, we remember God, we pray to God and we have faith in God and we all know and it is buried deep, deep inside our hearts that what is meant to be will be. We are blessed for that. Thank God we are a faithful nation because other people who don’t have that faith suffer deeply and struggle daily and don’t have anything to free their souls….but we do! Take pride in who you are and do not ever let anyone grade you or categorize you according to something, they think, you can or cannot do. Let’s not turn into this kind of nation where we are all “lonesome together”.
I am personally tired of this shallowness. I am honestly sick and tired of putting up with pretences and have no intention to play those games. I just want to be honourable, that’s all….I want to stand up for what is right. I want to have the courage to fight for justice and live up to my principles. I dream of becoming the best version of who I am.
